Good Evening Blog,
I am just in from my AA home group business meeting, and I am exhausted, lonely, and a but discouraged. The third weekend of each month brings a District business meeting, which usually involves a lengthy drive, since we rotate locations around our rural district.
My home group had about 70 people in attendance for the recovery meeting, but only six members that attended the business meeting. I remained silent for the most part, practicing the concept of humility.
When I returned home, I logged into my student information system for the community college I attend and saw the following:

		Jason Clemons
		2009 Spring > Credit > New River Community College
	Class Grades - 2009 Spring Class Description Units Grading Grade Grade Points ITN 199 Supervised Study 4.00 Graded A 16.000 ITP 112 Visual Basic.NET I 4.00 Graded A 16.000 ITP 220 Java Programming II 4.00 Graded A 16.000 ITP 299 Supervised Study 4.00 Graded A 16.000

I was excited to find I made all "A's", however I feel a little underwhelmed since I do not have anyone with whom I can directly share my excitement. A sponsee just called, so I can share with him, and I hope to talk with my girlfriend later in the evening. I do need to wake up at five a.m. to get the Virginia section of the Roanoke Times recorded for the visually impaired and get six cats, two dogs, and a flock of birds tended prior to showing up for my internship at the public school system technology center.

That is it for now, as the phone is starting to blow up. Late in the day is when the sponsees tend to cover ther responsibilities and call...finally.

Quite a Monday. I am excited to be parking the small blue 92 Ford Ranger and climbing on to the bicycle for my first ride to an evening meeting of the year. I am excited to be on board at a new antique furnishings museum on-line market to the world or something. I had a wonderful Sunday at a local Wesleyan church, where I felt quite at home. My week looks full of work, which is a blessing.

I continue to make errors in trying to build partnerships with those about me, but i am trying to live my life more as an open book. I will continue praying and trying to minimize the damage my rotten, self-will driven actions create. Acting as a man seeking God is definitely NOT my strong suit, but I will try.

On to the two-wheeled adventure in the bright sun following the day-long rain.

Friday has found me sore and grateful. My morning did not start as early as normal. I awoke at 8 am and hustled into the shower and off to school. I was able to use our Dublin site's switchboard operator to contact the Voice of the Blue Ridge phone reading service. I am commitment to recording the Obituaries section from the Roanoke Times on Friday mornings. If I do not get that done prior to 7am, my cell phone minutes are gobbles up with the quickness.
Friday morning smeans Robotics Lab, which is fun and disjointed with the crew I work with. While we were able to detect sound with our taskbot and compute sound threshholds, the motion aspect presented some opportunities for learning and hilarity. Our little taskbot will continue full-speed ahead unless you make a constant whistling noise, at which point the robot reverses, but only as long as the whistling continues.
The events of last night were powerful. I had the opportunity to spend time with a friend of mine who cannot keep himself out of jail, in a home, or with his wife. The blessing was being available to listen. I received a telephone call this morning from a warden in the Mecklenberg Penitentiary. He was alerting me to the address where my friend can be reached by letter. This is a different friend that finds himself incarcerated.
I am thankful for my life exactly as it is right now. I look forward to an afternoon at the gym, following a datacom class, then going to a speaker meeting, then playing some World of Warcraft. This weekend should be relaxing, my friend Luke is moving his girlfriend here from Hilton Head, and he is also moving into a new home, so i may help with heavy lifting. The majority of my weekend will be AA events and Java programming.
Love and Service,
Jason

A friend just commented on seeing my blog and I realized this media still exists. I just finished a whirlwind brainstorming session on my future with a couple of math professors. I find myself being able to communicate with better informed opinions regarding my own desires. At the end of the day, I feel most strongly drawn to teaching at a community college. This may stem from my desire to give back what is given so freely to me. The flaw in this thinking is that I experience my goals rapidly expanding as I am exposed to different stimuli. Perhaps, these goals will change when I attend a four-year university. It appears that Radford University is my destination in the Fall of 2009. I am going to attend my Datacom class, then vegetate at my house for a brief spell, then hit my AA homegroup early to continue studying the Service Manual and the most recent Conference Report. I was deeply moved yesterday while reading some of the speeches given regarding diversity in AA, self-support, and the dangers of politicking and rallying-the-troops.

I had a brief and beautiful conversation with my friend, Val. I am always so delighted to hear of her life. I am uncertain why her laughter fills me with some joy, but I try not to dissect the glimpses of peace I get today.

Yesterday, I spent most of my day on the bicycle. This allows me to be free and explore some dark crannies of my mind, recalling days in Austin. Cycling sober is an empowering happy thing. I did harvest a bounty of isolation, last night. Pangs of loneliness and certainty of my destiny of solitude were quickly dispelled by kneeling in prayer. My prayers are simple and repetitive:

God, grant me the willingness to surrender. Guide me toward the proper ideals about sex and romance, grant me the strength to adhere to those ideals, and a bit of sanity about the matter. God, thank you for my life, exactly as it is, right now. Thank you for my alcoholism. I pray that "(insert person who trouble me here)" receives all the blessing I want in my life. Praying only for knowledge of your will for us and the power to carry that out.

Love and Service,
Jason

Good Evening,
my name is Jason Clemons and I am an alcoholic. I am just returning home from an amazing adventure into the jagged peaks of Floyd, VA. My Memorial Day picked up where my weekend left off . . . tons of fellowship, travel, and adventure. I spent the weekend traveling to Winston-Salem, NC to attend the viewing of a friend from my AA home group, Dan D. I was able to speak with his father about the loving nature Dan exuded and how it impacted an emotionally retard man such as myself. I was able to meet his first sponsor, who had just celebrated 34 years of sobriety. I also met a number of alcoholics and non-alcoholics who were celebrating Dan's phenomenal, athletic, and exuberant life.
Sunday morning was another early morning, recording the Sports section of the local paper for the visually impaired then meeting my sponsor and six other recovering alcoholic men for an hour drive to a meeting in Roanoke then grabbing a few more men to eat lunch, then four of us went out on a pontoon boat that hadn't been sailed since the owner's brother passed recently. We had a blast. My sponsor, Irvin caught a fair-sized blue gill and the captain insisted he kiss it on lips before returning the fish to the lake. My friend Zach and i jumped into the chilly murky lake and splashed about while bluegrass and "y'all-ternative" blared.
The day finished with a great AA home group meeting where we heard great one-liners like, "Many meetings, many options; no meetings, no options" and "I only need one meeting a week to stay sober, I just don't know which meeting that is, so I go to a meeting every day."
Today, I awoke and recorded the Virginia section for the blind and saw my friends JP and Pete on the cover of the section finishing the Mountains of Misery run/bike . I forced myself to the gym, running on fumes and still feeling sluggish from apheresis donation on Friday. I biked to the gym and had a so-so workout then biked home and played some World of Warcraft, took a nap, and then received a call from my friend Abe, inviting me to go to Floyd to re-explore the Kettles. I called a few folks and my friend Skyleur responded and his wife came, also.
On the home home, we found a wonderful country store with local Homestead Creamery ice cream and fresh baked strawberry pies, among the fresh North Carolina BBQ and fantastic produce and fresh butchered flesh.
Love and Service,
Jason Clemons

U.S. President Calvin Coolidge expounded, “After all, the chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with producing, buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world" (Coolidge). The business described by Calvin Coolidge in 1925 has grown and proliferated exponentially in the last eighty years, creating a large amount of technological waste products. The waste has been dumped into landfills, traditionally, but there is a considerable savings to corporations when the waste is shipped overseas. Capitalism beckons to the developing nations around the planet, and for a fee some nations are willing to sacrifice the health of their people and their land. A world-wide market-driven economy is often regulated by agreements that protect the world’s people from dangerous waste produced by global industries. One such protective measure is the Basel Convention, which the United States has refused to ratify. Steps should be taken to ensure the U.S. is brought into compliance with international treaties that regulate the indiscriminate cross-border dumping of electronic waste, both for safety and financial reasons.

Internationally, the Basel Convention was negotiated in Basel, Switzerland in the 1980’s to combat indiscriminate cross-border dumping of waste or improperly managing toxic shipments (“Origins”). In the descriptive web page regarding the origins of the Basel Convention the following is written, “Searching for cheaper ways to get rid of the wastes, ‘toxic traders’ began shipping hazardous waste to developing countries and to Eastern Europe” (“Origins”). When describing the United States’ role, New York Times reporter Susan Moran states, “. . .it is the only industrialized nation that did not ratify the Basel Convention, which prohibits richer nations from exporting hazardous waste to poorer countries” (“Panning” 3).

I am learning to configure and repair computer components; as a result I am becoming more concerned with trying to extend the shrinking lifespan of these electronics. Electronic waste, or e-waste, refers to electronic products being discarded by consumers. As I gain more knowledge regarding the process of recycling computers, or e-cycling, I recognize the immediate need for the U.S. to follow the lead of the world’s other industrialized nations in effective and sensible disposal of discarded computer components.

Opponents of e-waste legislation reform argue that the danger to people and the environment are overstated. In his essay “The Dangers of E-waste Are Exaggerated,” environmental analyst Dana Joel Gattuso asserts the following:

Nor is e-waste growing at a rapid rate. National Safety Council (NSC) data show that the number of discarded computers will . . . begin to decline [after 2005]. While improved technology can quickly make machines obsolete, it can also extend the lifespan of the next generation of computers. More powerful microchips will soon provide machines with much greater capacity. (Gattuso 2)

Gordon Moore, co-founder of microchip powerhouse Intel stated in Moore’s Law that the computing power of processors double every eighteen months; the processing power is based upon the number of transistors that can be tightly packed on silicon chips (Shah. Cf. Carroll 67-68). Agam Shah, a reporter for the IDG News Service in San Francisco reports twenty million dollars has been requested from the U.S. government to begin concentrated research on “technologies, including carbon nanotubes, quantum computing and massively multicore computers that could improve,[sic] and replace current transistor technology” (Shah). In stark contrast to the claim by Gattuso, the computers of today will not only be outclassed and useless, but the future generations of machines will become obsolete at an even greater pace as the silicon chip itself is replaced by technologies that will shattered the growth rate that has held place for decades.

The next argument proposed by the opposition to legislation reform of e-waste is that computer manufacturers should govern themselves. Without regulatory interference, it is difficult to envision a profit-minded business choosing to process each ton of e-waste at a cost of “$500 to recycle,” as Gattuso states, “it costs only $40 to landfill” (Gattuso). National Geographic writer Chris Carroll summarizes the current government policy in his article “High Tech Trash,” “’The U.S. approach’, says Matthew Hale, EPA solid waste program director, ‘is instead to encourage responsible recycling by working with the industry—for instance, with a ratings system that rewards environmentally sound products with a seal of approval’” (qtd. in Carroll 74). The result of the laissez-faire approach is a greater portion of e-waste sent to domestic recyclers is shunted overseas to slowly developing nations. E-waste is being sent to China, India, Kenya, and other countries with lower environmental standards and working conditions for processing, often illegally. Uncontrolled burning, disassembly, and disposal are causing environmental and health problems, including occupational safety and health effects among those directly involved, due to the methods of processing the waste (Carroll 67-80).

The most important argument against e-waste legislation reform is the cost. Opponents have argued that the great direct financial savings to companies when electronic waste is placed into landfills is difficult to give up in favor of costly e-cycling. However, there is a third less discussed option that is much cheaper and popular than landfill dumping or e-cycling. “For the West,” reports Chris Bodeen, a Associated Press reporter, “where safety rules drive up the cost of disposal, it’s as much as 10 times cheaper to export the waste to developing countries” (Bodeen 1).

One argument for the reform of e-waste legislation is that the United States can reverse direction on the treacherously slippery slope it has gone down by shirking responsibility for deadly refuse that is being produced at alarming rates. The U.S. is not only poisoning developing nations, but acting as the primary source of contaminated goods which are then imported back into the United States (Fairclough). Gordon Fairclough, correspondent for the Wall Street Journal explains the cycle in the following:

For lead, the trip to China from the U.S. typically goes like this: U.S. consumers and businesses send their old electronics to recycling firms—often by way of innocuous recycling drives. Some of those firms then sell the electronics to dealers in the U.S., who sell them to dealers in China. Chinese companies buy the e-waste and strip lead and other re-sellable materials from it—often discarding harmful materials along the way, adding to local pollution. Those firms then sell the recovered lead to alloy makers like Ms. Liu, who provide it to Chinese manufacturers. The lead makes its way—sometimes at toxic levels—into trinkets sold to consumers in the U.S. (Fairclough 1)

While not much has been done nationally, the Federal government is beginning to follow the example of some states. The U.S. Congress is considering a number of electronic waste bills including the National Computer Recycling Act introduced by Congressman Mike Thompson (D-CA). This bill has continually stalled, however. The main idea of the bill is “to establish a grant and fee program through the Environmental Protection Agency to encourage and promote the recycling of used computers and to promote the development of a national infrastructure for the recycling of used computers, and for other purposes” (“H.R.425”).

The most important argument in favor of e-waste legislation reform is that financial benefits can be gained when consistently positive business practices are enforced by aligning U.S. policy with the international treaties that promote safe e-waste handling. Manufacturers need legislation that mandates accepting responsibility for the environmental footprint and the safety of the products they are creating. Products need to be made with less toxic materials, so that the equipment can be more easily reused and recycled. Companies can be shown that upfront investment in a more eco-friendly process can be beneficial for the profit margin “by avoiding regulatory fines, averting shareholder complaints and lawsuits, and catering to the demands of customers who want to use greener products” (Moran 1). American manufacturers are anticipating U.S. compliance with strict laws already in place through the world, so they are rolling out products to meet the most rigorous standards. In New York Times reporter Susan Moran’s article “Panning E-waste for Gold”, Mark Newton, the head of Dell's environmental affairs group on product design states concisely, "When you're a global company, you need to have a global solution” (qtd. in Moran 1). In the same article, Hewlett-Packard’s manager for corporate environmental strategies, John Frey asserted, “We must have a valid business reason for doing things, not just an environmental reason” (qtd. in Moran 2)

E-cycling is also proving to be lucrative to at least one major electronics corporation. Each month Hewlett-Packard’s 200,000-square-foot recycling centers in Nashville, TN and Roseville, CA, combine to examine, sort, and recycle 1.5 million pounds of electronic waste “ore” (Moran 1). Workers collect “8 to 10 ounces of gold, silver, palladium and other precious metals per ton of ‘ore’, compared with 6 ounces per ton in a typical extractive mine” (Moran 1). Just as e-waste is shipped to the far corners of the world to impact the corporate bottom line at the expense of sustainable living conditions and human lives, major international companies are seeing the impact of wise legislative decisions and are trying to get ahead of the curve to avoid potentially debilitating penalties.

The U.S. government is lagging severely and perhaps the purchasing power of the consumer culture will allow healthy ideas about recycling and reuse to flourish. The tremendous evidence of necessary federal legislation is largely dismissed by Washington, D.C. A government predicated on corporate kick backs and war machines appears to have no time to recognize global problems that unite nations rather than divide them. The brash actions America takes on the world scale is creating serious consequences. Global water shortages, ever shrinking space, and ever growing populations will soon terrorize Americans, just as surely as the staggering oil prices and energy worries torment psyches today. The implementation of laws governing the processing of e-waste will benefit manufacturers and consumers both environmentally and financially, with the coming decades a promise of a world that will dictate foresight and economy.

Works Cited

Bodeen, Christopher. "China's E-waste Nightmare Worsening." ABC News. 18 Nov. 2007.30                                        Apr. 2008

          .

Carroll, Chris. "High Tech Trash." National Geographic Jan. 2008: 66-80.

Coolidge, Calvin. "History - ‘...The Chief Business of the American People is Business’." ASNE 01 Aug. 2001. 28 Apr 2008 <http://www.asne.org/kiosk/editor/00.aug/ottaway2.htm>.

Fairclough, Gordon. "China: Lead Toxins Take a Global Round Trip." Wall Street Journal 12 July 2007. 30 Apr. 2008       .

Gattuso, Dana Joel. "The Dangers of E-waste Are Exaggerated." Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Gale. New River Community Coll., Dublin, VA. 30 Apr. 2008

          .

Moran, Susan. "Panning E-waste for Gold." New York Times 17 May 2006. 30 Apr. 2008 .

Basel Convention. "Origins of the Convention." Basel Convention. 20 Mar. 2008. 30 Apr. 2008 .

Shah, Agam. "Scientists Ponder the Successor to Moore's Law." PC World 16 Feb.  2008. 30 Apr. 2008 

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United States. Cong. U.S. House Energy and Commerce, Subcommittee on Environmental and Hazardous Materials. H.R. 425 [109th]: National Computer Recycling Act. Washington: GovTrack.us, 2005. 30 Apr. 2008

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The behaviors I would like to change in my life are some of the inconsistencies that occur in my diet and exercise regimen. I have been an active participant in weight training since, I was thirteen. I am gone between “just showing up” at the gym to overtraining so that I receive no gains from training. For fifteen years I bicycled everywhere, while living in Austin, TX. Today, I am trying to not only become more consistent in my exercise planning, but I also am considering how to step up the intensity of my work-out to compensate for my advancing age. I typically go to The Weight Club five days per week, usually cycling 15 minutes there and back, when I arrive I usually ride a stationary bike while I complete the daily crossword, that averages another 6-7 minutes of cardiovascular exercise. Then, I engage in weight training, usually two body groups per session. N example would be today, lifting with two friends we alternated bicep and shoulder exercises. I went with four sets of 12 reps at a high to maximum weight. One other thing I would like to change is my lack of social activity at the gym. I traditionally hide behind headphones, but I have found that by not wearing headphones, I open myself to spotting for other people and engaging in lively conversation with friends I never knew I had.

My diet has always been dictated by my income. I have always been in the poverty bracket financially, but for many years I worked in restaurants. If I worked at a vegetarian restaurant, I was primarily a vegetarian. If I worked at a five star steakhouse, I ate a tremendous amount of certified gold Angus filet mignon. Today, as a full-time student I eat primarily pinto beans and brown rice. I add variety through bequethments of flesh I receive for house-sitting or butcher work. I usually receive venison, freshly butchered pork, and chicken. My garden is beginning to thrive and I eat a lot of last year’s garden that have been canned in Mason jars. There isn’t much structure, but I am blessed to have developed habits out of necessity. The habits include rarely eating out, never eating fast food, and there is no room in my diet or wallet for filler junk food that does not provide nutritive quality. I would like to begin a rigorous food and exercise log and use that information to streamline and maximize efficiency in these vital life habits.

The exciting parts of my diet stem from a wealth of potluck dinners I attend. My friends and I are usually in charge of the kitchen and tend toward the wok or grill. I love to experiment with tofu and the variety of strange good one comes across at Oasis World Food Market. I also like to blend food concepts, curried venison is delicious, and we made a cobia fish stew flavored with fresh lemongrass and ginger. I would like to regulate my coffee intake better, when my caffeine consumption becomes unmanageable I usually switch to yerba mate or hibiscus tea for a few days.

So, in conclusion I would like to have a better planned diet and an exercise program that is more efficient. I would also like to address my caffeine reliance. It strikes me as incongruous that I am so mindful about my food and exercise, but pound cheap nasty coffee like it is going out of style. I have never been a cigarette smoker and I do not drink alcohol and consume any mind or mood altering drugs. I am blessed to not need medications prescribed by a physician, either.

Stress has been defined to me by an elder as the conflict between different sets of priorities. The primary way I deal with stress is to have a clear understanding of what my priorities are and therefore avoid having those priorities come into conflict with one another. My number one priority is not taking the first drink of alcohol and I make a verbal commitment to not drink or take mind or mood altering substances each day. My next priority is to pray on my knees. It is usually during this prayer session that I ask to be relieved of the bondage of self and to be granted the willingness to surrender. My third priority is to follow through on the service commitments I have made. The act of being of service to others allows me a reprieve from the self-centeredness that has dictated the misery of a large portion of my life. By getting involved in the betterment of another person’s spiritual condition, I not only quit thinking about Jason for just a moment, but I learn to constructively face the fact that I have severe challenges in forming a true partnership with another human being.

After a thorough start to commitment, prayer, and service, I can start focusing on being a part of this wonderful mosaic of life. The first portion of my day allows for me to take a few steps back from having my nose press tightly against the single tile in the mosaic labeled me. As I step back I become increasingly aware of the infinite wonder of the world around me and I become aware of my responsibility to play the role of the hero in the story of my own life. The next priority is to apply myself with discipline and an open mind to my chosen work. This work is currently being a full-time student at NRCC. This involves showing up early to class, listening with intent, taking notes, asking questions, giving others a chance to participate, staying late, and doing the homework. I find that shaking hands, introducing myself, listening to the ideas and feeling of others, and being honest allows for cultivation of friendships with students, faculty, and staff.

The next tier of priorities consists of my physical sense of balance. I exercise intensely and regularly. I train muscles four to five times per week for around an hour and a half. I really enjoy the concept of training muscles not lifting weights. I focus on flexibility, form, breathing, and strength. I also incorporate bicycling into my daily life, whether it is on a stationary bike or on a mountain bike. I do my best to not operate my truck as the gas prices are very high, and all the places I need to be are relatively close and easily accessible by bike. I also love to throw the Frisbee, or hippie wheel, as I call it. I also love to play basketball, volleyball, and softball.

The next tier of priorities is related to the release and joy of fellowship. I spend a lot of my time with close friends preparing meals and enjoying potlucks, board game nights, gardening, and video games. I spend most of my time with men, because it is much more difficult to play a role, rather than to be honest about whom I really am. I have the tendency to project a façade towards women, either being self-effacing or sycophantically charming. I am improving in this regard and am slowly learning to build friendships with women and to treat them with the respect they deserve as human beings. At the age of thirty-four, I am still adhering to some boundaries that were erected for me a few years ago regarding dating. I am staying away from involvements with women that already have husbands and boyfriends. I try to date girls that are with tens years of age on either side. I am learning to consider an approach vastly different than my misguided sex instinct fueled by self-will. I am learning to get to know a woman, then to trust her, and then to rely upon her. The next two phase I have not gotten to, but they are to commit to that woman, and then to touch. I am learning to have faith in the processes that have produced good results in other’s lives. So, to make a short story long, at the bottom of my priorities list is romance.

How do I deal with stress? I try to remain mindful of the priorities in my life. I make commitments. I pray diligently. I help others. I follow through on commitments. I try to improve myself. I exercise. I share as openly and honestly as I can. I listen. I try to do the next right thing. Occasionally, I relax.

My name is Jason Clemons and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is November 13, 2004. This means I have exactly one day of sobriety, today. Just because I do not drink alcohol today does not mean that I am empowered to successfully manage my own life.
Bill Wilson states in The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, "The primary fact we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with other human beings." This statement has shown true time and time again in my life. I am currently seeking divine protection from a nineteen-year-old beauty who is pursuing me tenaciously. Her comeliness provides an excellent backdrop for my own rationalization of seeking lustful enterprise with a lady fifteen years my junior and who is living with her boyfriend in my neighborhood.
This is not an isolated incident. My entire life is shot through with paramouric activity, with me not only being the 'other man', but usually in a position where I can view myself as the 'pursued not the pursuer' and thus absolve myself of wrong doing.
The true challenges to my willingness to follow good direction and take proper action comes in the waning hours of evening after an arduous and productive day of service-based life. I feel strongly entitled to the love of a woman, any woman, after I have spent the day recording for blind, chairing business meetings, traveling to work with other alcoholics, give freely of what was given to me. I have difficulty shaking the idea that I deserve sex and romance in my life.
The difficulty is stimulated and increased by the misguided notion that this entanglement with another must be on my timetable. I must remain mindful that I am not the grand director of this fantastic production that is life.
The more I get, the more I owe,
Jason